Comments

Although this blog is primarily for maintenance of my mental health and personal development, I have come to admit how much I enjoy writing for an audience, especially an audience who give me feedback. So a big thank you to all those who drop by, and let me know they have, by leaving a message behind. I love to hear what you think about a topic, your experience of similar situations, your take on some idea or notion I’m thrashing around. I am always tremendously excited when I find a new comment has been added, especially if it is an older post, because it gives me an excuse to go back there and revisit my thoughts and musings.

It’s a funny old world, the blog world, because it includes people you have never met face to face. And that raises all sorts of questions about friendship, what comprises it, etiquette of conducting same over the internet, etc. You can’t see facial expression or body language. If you go leave a comment on every post on a *friend*’s blog, (even though they may only get two ‘commenters’ for theirs and you are one of them!) and they haven’t left a single one on yours, are they giving you the cold shoulder? How do you know? How do you interpret such gestures in this cyber world? What about people to whom you send a link to your blog, but you never hear from them? I would never nag them, but it does make me feel a bit dissed, I have to say.

I think it is much easier here to make assumptions, take offence, take things the wrong way, than with regular friendships. For me, anyway, I guess I feel fine about checking out “what was your intention when you did X? Because I felt like…” with a friend IRL, but I definitely wouldn’t broach the subject with any of my online friends. Some of whom I feel very close to and have ‘known’ now for years. Why is that?

Although I have been hanging out on a couple of forums for a few years, I am a relative noob and stick mainly to my specialist infertility groups. As for the blog world, I consider myself a total novice. A few of my IRL friends have them and I love to read theirs (and comment!) But mainly my blog reading consists of those writings offered by people I have met online through my forums, or through their links to other people in similar situations. Because I’m so isolated, perhaps I don’t have a clue what should really be going on. I don’t know. Is there a whole lot of stuff I’m unaware of, missing?

I’m not sure where I am going with all of this. Maybe formulating some notion that comments help to develop those friendships, perhaps. Make it easier to feel connections with cyber-friends. Give you feedback that they care, take an interest outside of the forum arrangement. Comments are an arena in which you can share your cyber-friend’s life, and more of yourself, when you respond to their thoughts.

I like developing and maintaining relationships. I spend a lot of time engaging in them. Perhaps too much time, who knows? What happens for those bloggers who have hundreds, and sometimes over a thousand comments on every post? Do they feel as though they ought to respond to them all and are guilty for not being able? Or do they see the comment as a one-way event: no obligation to reciprocate?

For those of you who have blogs: what does a comment left on your post mean to you?

Mine mean a lot to me. They mean you care enough to take the time not only to read what is going on for me, but to express your reaction to it. They mean I get to develop an audience for whom I am writing (besides myself). They mean I get to ‘meet’ new people and have the opportunity of checking out their lives and philosophies. They mean encouragement, motivation and stimulation. They bring a smile to my face and a cheer to my heart. From the bottom of which I thank you all, and coax you to continue.