Aaaand we’re on

Egg donor B started her injects Sunday night, surrogate M began hers Monday morning. Both go for their first blood level tests on Saturday, with B also having an ultrasound that day. Both girls will probably have ultrasounds again next Monday.  I will update as information comes to hand.

The clinic has been a bit crap (again) with communication and it has been left to me to sort out, which I did today (it took about an hour and a half, and a lot of he-said-she-said) but without having a meltdown over it, so that was nice.  And now all participants and the co-ordinator are on the same page.  I hope.  Sigh.

This week there have been less de-railments and things have seemed more manageable, and I have felt calmer and generally more able to cope.  I’m not really sure why I feel so different to last week, but I’m grateful that I do.

The garden has had a lot of attention in the past few days.  On the weekend we moved a couple of rose bushes and a whole heap of dutch iris plants, out of what will be the ‘Zen Garden’, so we can use the cleared space to start visualising a firmer plan.  A friend came and removed half our agapanthus plants, (now we can plant the elderberry hedge in their place) and I did more pruning and weeding.  I’ve enjoyed it, tried not to overdo it, and the rain over the past two or three days has taken me to inside tasks and quite a bit of sitting about resting.  I’ve started and finished two novels this week, and today I am indulging in a few episodes of hoarders.  It’s quite addictive.  My sister put me on to it.  I know there is an extreme OMG ogling factor, and it does feel very voyeuristic. What I like also is the compassion with which the psychologists and ‘organisers’ help these people.  My initial reaction is often “Oh just pull yourself together and have a fucking clean up” but of course chronic dysfunctional behaviour patterns underly the whole thing and it is never as simple as just having a bit of a tidy ’round.  And I think there is a part of me that sometimes finds the idea of just throwing your hands in the air and giving in to helplessness quite attractive.  Watching these episodes is a reminder that I wouldn’t like the consequences of relinquishing responsibility!

Anyway.  Not a great deal to report.  Spinach pie for dinner last night, slow cooked beef and home grown turnips tonight.  Housework up to date.  Bills paid, financial crisis averted (for this month at least). Fire lit, woodbox filled, windy showers outside, cosy inside.  Legs and bikini line waxed, hair washed. Everything feels ordered and easy.  No pressure looming, nothing in the urgent quadrant.

It is 3pm and DH won’t be back until 7.30, so I have the whole afternoon (and the house) to myself.  Might be time to start another book.  Then do a bit of birdwatching and maybe some yoga nidra.  I wish it was always this peaceful. If I had therapy every day it probably would be!

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