all sorts

Quick check in and update of thing in general, for those interested enough to still be reading my blog (which isn’t many, by the looks, but thank you, those who are!).

Post-miscarriage I am ok. The bleeding and cramping started up again in full force five days after I thought it was all over, so that sucked. But the last beta (a week ago) was down to 46, so it is now all done, and I am grateful for that.

I need to get back to healthy eating and exercise, especially as I have just spent a week in Perth, but unfortunately while there I picked up a cold, and then yesterday woke up to discover vertigo had returned, which is beyond annoying. So no pump class for me today. If I am not better by Monday I am going to be ropeable. It feels like I have had some form of ill health for a couple of months now, and I am over it.

The final ‘cooling off’ counselling for surrogacy and donor egg went smoothly. I did not lose my shit in the session, it was quick and painless and we all went out for coffee afterwards. DH and donor had blood tests (for Hep c, HIV etc), and donor and surrogate met without eh co-ordinator to discuss dates for a cycle start (and aligning their cycles using the pill etc). We have settled on aiming for beginning drugs 15th July, all things going well. OMG. That is so SOON! If we get a viable embryo, transfer will be towards the end of the first week in August. I can’t even think about it. I am so not ready to get any hopes up. The new lawnmower we bought a fortnight ago wouldn’t work last weekend because the battery was completely flat. I lost my shit over it, and realised a little later that this was because right now I just cannot cope with one more piece of disappointment. That miscarriage completely filled my disappointment quota, and I have to wait for that to ebb away before I can deal with any more. I am hoping a month is long enough to process enough of that so I have some room for disappointment over the surrogacy cycle if I need it. I am seriously a long way from being ready for THAT big hole of sorrow.

My lovely surrogate, M, hand crocheted me a gorgeous blue, soft, fluffy shawl for my birthday, and it is amazing. Took her six months. I am in awe. I can’t wait to wear it!

My head feels like it is full of cotton wool and I can’t think straight when I have vertigo. Typing is also very challenging, so apologies for the bad grammar or spelling that the auto correct has buggered up and I have missed, because I cannot edit right now. I feel like I am falling into the computer. I need to get off and go back to bed for a while. I’ve probably omitted something important. Never mind. These are the main things. I wish I could remember how to do bullet points in these posts. WordPress doesn’t have an easy bullet point button and I am too addled to try to work it all out at the moment. Blah.

No funny sign off even. This feels extremely lame. Like me.

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